Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Carnival Cruise Ships

MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) – In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing “unsafe working conditions.”
“If Carnival thinks that it’s going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined,” said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule.  “We Somali pirates may be bold, but we’re not crazy.”
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